Oh, Behave!

How not to be an arse this holiday shopping season

After we awaken from a turkey-induced slumber and before the carolers and cocoa arrive, the four-week sprint of spending and giving commences. As we limber up and check our calendars to remember what day it is - Black, Small, Cyber, or Giving - here are tips to being a decent person during the most harried shopping season of the year. You might think, “I don’t need to be reminded on how to be a kind and lovely person,” to which I will reply: yes, yes you do.

As a shopkeeper, I know the heart and soul that shop workers put in to create incredible experiences for their customers. On the whole, customers are delightful and appreciative. There are, however, transgressions small and large that can spoil the shopping experience for all involved. Here’s how not to be that person:

Shop Small, Local Businesses

Let’s get this out of the way early. You’ve heard it, you know it. Now do it, Shopping small is one of the most important things you can do to support your community. Why drop more coins into Phallic Rocketman’s pocket when you can support locally-owned businesses, run by people you’ll bump into at the post office or school drop-off who want to provide you with an exceptional shopping experience?

Shopping small isn’t just an act of charity. You, too, can benefit. Over the past few decades, we’ve traded personalization for convenience. It’s up to you where you’re willing go compromise. When you make a purchase at a local business, you build a relationship. A shopkeeper is more willing to think of you when something new arrives that you may want. They will also be more open to adding products customers are looking for and can’t find.

If you can’t make it out in person, and the local business doesn’t have a digital storefront, pick up the phone and call. We are delighted to ring you up and ship directly from our store. We can send you photos of items if you need help with prints, colors, or sizes. Not only are you getting what you need, you’ve now established a connection with a personal shopper.

The Golden Rule

Treat those who are helping you as you would want to be treated yourself. It’s that simple. If you think for one minute that you are above the shop workers, you may want to remember this isn’t a caste system and you should probably stick to shopping online.

We Want Your Happiness

We want our customers to be happy. When we greet you upon arrival, we are simply saying hello. You don’t have to bark back, “I’m just browsing!” We’re not asking for an admission fee.

We are here to help you find a gift, pair items together, provide an opinion or find something that may require a few phone calls. We are also keepers of local knowledge like where to get a coffee after 3 PM or to provide a personalized restaurant recommendation. You might be surprised where a little small talk can take you.

Mind Your Time

As much as we delight in helping you find the right item, we also have lives of our own. Our stores aren’t places to hang out while you wait for your table to free up for dinner. If it’s later in the evening and you’re unsure about closing times, you can ask. Or, read the cues. There are tell-tale signs to closing: sweeping, straightening, counting registers, shutting the open door.

If you are running late and there is something you must have, let us know. We can expedite your purchase and appreciate that you are sensitive to our hours. I’ll put it bluntly, if you are going to spend money, someone will stay open as long as you don’t take advantage of our time. If you want to take an hour to walk the store, touch everything and not make a purchase, we will remember you.

It’s Okay If You Change Your Mind

We’ve all had second thoughts. Perhaps the item you’ve been walking around with lost its luster. Please don’t dump it in a random location like a box of kittens by the side of the road. We don’t even need you to walk it back to the display where you found it. The decent thing to do is hand it to a sales associate and we will happily place it in its rightful home. We don’t need an explanation. Simply tell us you changed your mind.

Don’t Cross Into Sacred Space

I feel like this should be universally understood but, alas, it is not. Please don’t come behind the counter. These are typically cramped quarters as it is. During the holiday season we are navigating a tango of ringing, boxing, wrapping and bagging. It’s not a place for the uninitiated.

And while we’re at it…

Gift Wrapping Is Not A Spectator Sport

Yes, many stores still gift wrap. Some of us enjoy it! We want your gift to look beautiful for you. This becomes increasingly difficult when you are standing across from us, or worse yet, right next to us while we wrap. If you’re not careful, you’ll accidentally get an elbow to the eye. The act of cutting paper and tying ribbon feels like choosing the right wire to cut while defusing a bomb when someone is staring you down. No, we don’t need your finger while tying a bow. If you offer it up, you’re too close for comfort.

Please give us some space and a few moments to dress up that package for you. If you need 18 gifts wrapped and the store is full of customers, we can accommodate you but please understand it will take longer than 20 minutes. Yes, that was a real request. We are efficient but not at a speed of 66 seconds per gift.

Don’t Litter

I always wondered why certain stores had a no drinks or food policy. Especially when they didn’t sell anything that could be ruined or stained by a spill. Now that I’m in the trenches, I understand why. Many people are lazy and disgusting. Done with that drink? I’ll just leave it over here on this table to sweat into the wood. Done with the chocolate ice cream stained napkin? I’ll just drop it over here on the floor.

I’m going to blow your mind with this revelation: we have trash cans. We’d be more than happy for you to use them. Some very polite people ask to use them. That’s not even required. We are thrilled when you take the initiative to use them yourself.

Give Praise, It Makes Our Day

Do you love the store? Tell us! We work hard to create an entire experience for you from merchandising to music to helpful suggestions to tracking down every last dust bunny hiding under a fixture. Obscure and specific compliments are even better. The other day when the store was packed and we were firing on all cylinders, a gentleman who was patiently waiting for me to track down table linens said, “You’re doing an amazing job of creating order out of complete chaos.”

All that said, a genuine “thank you” is all that is needed.

More than anything, get out and shop in person. There is nothing worse than a street full of empty storefronts. More than that, we all need more face to face human connection. Popping in a shop can provide just that, even if you don’t spend a dime.